Empathy in the workplace … the human communication connection

Empathy has become a kind of new workplace buzzword, even though it certainly has been in existence for a very long time. Empathy is not sympathy. When a team member empathizes with a customer, it simply means that person can understand what the customer needs, perhaps even understanding the customer’s underlying frustrations or desires.

As reported in Forbes magazine, a recent workplace survey found that “87% of CEOs see a direct link between workplace empathy and business performance, productivity, retention and general business health.”

Electronic devices are distractions that demand our attention, almost addictively. Electronic communications mute the ability to read emotions, to sense frustration, and to empathize with another person. In fact, quite often, electronic communications exacerbate the situation by creating miscommunication and unnecessarily hurt feelings, even in the workplace.

How can human communications help team members develop a better sense of empathy with customers and with co-workers? In a face-to-face conversation, with cell phones out of sight and out of mind, we are able to focus intently on the customer or co-worker who needs our attention – and who needs our empathy in that moment. The ability to actively listen and to develop focused responses, from one human to another, is crucial to enhancing empathy in the workplace.

Human communication enables empathy. That empathy may just become the difference in your business health.

Put it down. Look up. Focus on the other human in the room with you. Have a real conversation. Let me know how it goes.

What is the power of the unplugged word?

Have you ever misinterpreted an email or text – or worse yet, not received the message at all – and decided that the sender must be mad at you? Have you sent countless messages back and forth, trying to clarify the intent or content of the original message?

We lose so much when all we see are words on a screen. We cannot hear the voice, note the body language, or maintain eye contact with the person on the other end. We quite often determine for ourselves the emotions and the intent behind the message. And we quite often are wrong.

The unplugged word carries the power of empathy, of listening, of feedback and focused response, none of which are possible through texting, emailing, tweeting, or any other form of electronic communication.

Technology can be a good thing, of course, when used appropriately. We use a piece of technology to make a phone call. In that phone call, though, we can hear – and relay back – emotions and intent. Customer service reps are taught to smile on every call because that cheerfulness will come through in the rep’s voice even when the smile can’t be seen. Anger, happiness, confusion, clarity are all quite evident in a caller’s voice, leaving little room for misinterpretation or miscommunication.

Unplugged words are spoken face-to-face and on those calls. Unplugged words are written with pen and paper. Unplugged words carry the power of true communication, from one human to another.

When I tell others that I help business people with human communications, they nod and smile in agreement that “something needs to be done” in that area. We are all bombarded by electronics and have forgotten how to communicate on a human level.

However, we then all go back to our desks, to our meetings, and to our clients, back to the same mode of texting and tweeting and emailing, back to forgetting about the humans on the other end of our communications.

So easy to say “we need this” but a little more difficult to take that next step and make it happen.

Does your team sit behind laptops and smart phones, focused on their keys and their screens?

Are they able to have a human conversation with your customers? Can they communicate without emojis?

We’ve gained a lot with the invention of smart phones, social media, even email. We can communicate with people across the world as though they were in the room with us. We’ve also lost a lot. We’ve lost the ability to communicate with those people who are actually in the room with us.

Cashiers are challenged with interacting with retail and fast food clients. Business team members are challenged with actively participating, on a human level, in meetings. Customer service representatives are not empowered to have human conversations, sticking only to their scripts while electronically “chatting.”

There are certainly times when electronic communication makes sense. In those times, we have to remember that our words are not just black and white virtual words. Our words impact the humans on the other end of the screen, sometimes in very significant ways.

All communication is a cycle. Words go out and they must be received and interpreted appropriately within that cycle. Virtual words are prone to misinterpretation and misunderstandings that can cost businesses millions of dollars in lost revenue.

Customers want to know your business values them as humans. Your team members want to be treated as humans. Communication must take into account the fact that those on the other end are humans.

HumanComms. Easy to say. Let’s take the next step to make it happen!

Contact Pat Fontana for more info on how to make HumanComms work for your team and your customers.

True story:

Went through the drive-through of a fast food restaurant. (Isn’t that how these stories always start?) While waiting at the window for my food – after getting a very pleasant greeting of “$9.71” (and literally no other words) from the restaurant’s employee – I noticed a sign on his side of the window. Actually, it was more of a scrawled message on a whiteboard, but I took it as a sign.

The message said, “Please and thank you go a long way.” YES! I thought that I’d finally found a fast-food restaurant (see above note) that had it right.

Alas, the employee returned – after a very long, lonely absence – and handed me my food. “Have a nice day” was all I got. Okay, so that’s polite and nice and all, but I seriously doubt it was anywhere close to sincere.

So, I had to ask. And I did, as pleasantly and in as good a humor as I could muster. “That sign behind you – is that for employees to read or just something nice for customers to see?” The employee was absolutely, positively dumbfounded. It was as if he was seeing that message for the very first time. I’m guessing that was the case, actually.

He asked me – and I am NOT making this up – “You want me to say please and thank you?”

GACK. Seriously? Yes, dear, I am your customer. I just handed you money. (Remember the “$9.71”?) You could say thank you.

That’s not really what I said in response, of course. My even smarter response was “Yes. It goes a long way,” as I again pointed to the sign.

The employee gave a bit of an embarrassed giggle but still did not get it. I said “thank you.” Twice. He said … wait for it … “you’re welcome.”

More GACK.

So I gestured. No, not that kind of gesture. I gave him a visual signal that I expected HIM to say “thank you.” And hooray! He did actually say it. Although, again, I seriously doubt it was anywhere close to sincere.

Please and thank you … they do go a long way … when they are actually used! They have magical powers. They can make customers happy, convince customers you honestly appreciate their business, and they can bring those customers back for more.

Try PATY (please and thank you) with your team. Let me know how it goes!

#humancomms #customercommunications #words

Need help training your employees to use PATY and other magical words when communicating with each other and with customers? Let’s talk!

Is your team addicted to their phones?

Technology is amazing. It enables us to communicate across towns, across states, across the world … across the table.

What? Across the table? Yes, just like teens sitting next to each other on the couch, grown business people are often glued to their cell phones when sitting across from each other at the conference table in a large meeting and even across the desk in a one-on-one discussion.

Your team can reconnect with each other and with your clients. It doesn’t require giving up the electronic devices completely. Those are certainly excellent tools – in the right place, at the right time.

Reconnecting is very simply a matter of remembering how to connect on a human level.

In a retail situation, for example, does your team member acknowledge the customer’s choice to spend money with your company by using the actual words “thank you”? For a service or online business, do you reach out to your clients on a human level, with a phone call or a handwritten note sent via the actual mail?

Think about the difference you can make to your client’s perception of your business with these extra little steps (that used to be, by the way, the normal course of business).

When you and your team make the effort to communicate on a human level – putting away the electronics at the table or at the cash register – your customers will notice and will appreciate it.

Need more info? Contact us!

Now that we have (mostly) survived the holiday shopping season, let’s reflect on our experiences, shall we?

As a customer, did you feel appreciated when you chose to spend your money in certain stores?

As a business owner, did your team show appreciation to your customers?

Sure, there might have been exchanges of “have a nice day” or even “happy holidays,” but how many times did you hear or did you say … “thank you”?

How often were the words “there you go” uttered instead, when a receipt or shopping bag was handed over?

Is it easier to say “there you go” than “thank you”?

There you go … 3 syllables

Thank you … 2 syllables

Maybe my math is off, but doesn’t “thank you” take less effort? It certainly carries greater weight! Think about the warm fuzzy feeling you get when you hear those words. That’s the feeling your customers want too!

So why, when I say “thank you” to a cashier, do I get that proverbial deer-in-the-headlight look like I’m speaking a foreign language that they don’t understand?

And … why am I – the customer – the one saying “thank you”?

Here’s a fun little game. Go to a store. Purchase something. Wait for the cashier to say “there you go” while giving you a receipt. Look at the cashier. Say “thank you.” Watch what happens.

My guess is that the cashier will stumble through a confused “you’re welcome” and then move on to the next customer.

When did customer communication move into backward land? Why am I, the customer, thanking the business for allowing me to spend my money there? And when did “there you go” become an acceptable replacement for “thank you”?

Here’s a very doable resolution for businesses in 2018. Train your team to say the words “thank you.”

Seriously. 2 little syllables. They carry tremendous power in your customer communications.

Try it. Let me know how it works.

Thank you for reading.

Do you always thank your customers—every time?

The next time you interact with other businesses, whether stopping at a fast food restaurant, buying groceries, or shopping at a “big box” store, count the number of times you are actually thanked.

If conducting a transaction with a service business, whether in person or online, you should receive an equally enthusiastic “thank you for your business.” Do you?

These days, the trend seems to be for the store clerk or restaurant cashier to “thank” the customer by saying “here you go” when handing over the receipt. The words “thank you” are very rarely used. Although many will attempt a pleasantry with “have a nice day” or “have a good one,” those two little words we long to hear as customers are still missing.

Pay attention to what you and your team members are saying to your clients. In fact, take a few extra minutes to write a note of thanks and put it in the mail.

Surprise and please your clients—and set your business apart from those who don’t make that effort.

First lesson: Capture a screenshot whenever you have a sketchy “customer service” experience online.

Second lesson: As a business owner, never let any of your employees do this to a potential customer.

The story: A few days ago, I decided to send an older family member some flowers for her birthday. The branding message in my head said to go to FTD.com because they specialize in flower delivery. It’s been a while since I’ve ordered flowers, though, so I was a little confused when most of the selections were going to be delivered “in a gift box” via UPS.

The image in my head of flower deliveries is and always has been of a person actually carrying the beautiful vase overflowing with just the right arrangement to the door of a very surprised recipient. I never envisioned a UPS truck pulling up, honking, dropping off the box, and driving off.

So, I decided to inquire about the situation. I noticed a handy “chat” box in the corner. When I clicked on it, the instructions said to enter my question and an agent would be right with me. I entered “I have a question about delivery.” The response came fairly quickly.

The response was … wait for it …

Yes

Seriously, that was the “customer service” representative’s response to my question.

Yes

No punctuation. No addition of “Yes, of course. I can help you with that.”

Naturally, I had to ask her (given what I do) if that was the way she was trained to respond to a customer. Her response then was the expected scripted answer that I should have received at the beginning. We went back and forth a couple of times with me stating my shock at such rude responses and her continuing to give me her script, basically ignoring my comments.

Finally, I said I would rather do business with another company that knows how to communicate with its customers. Her response to that? Wait for it …

A three-question customer survey:

How you were greeted by our customer support agent

Our response time

The quality of answers provided

There was no apology. There were no parting words, not even the scripted kind, from the representative. Just the survey that popped up in the corner of the chat box.

Anyone want to guess how I rated the “customer support” agent? How often do you think I will use this company in the future?

That $65 probably doesn’t matter much to such a big company, but they lost a potential customer and they inspired that potential customer to spread the word about their “customer service.”

So, how well are you communicating with your customers?

Do you panic when you can’t find your cell phone? Do you hyperventilate when you realize you left it at home as you drive away to a meeting or even just to the grocery store?

If you’re old(er) like me (!!!), you remember when the phone stayed connected to the wall, usually in the kitchen. Now we are connected to the phone and, it seems, can’t survive without it.

What would happen if you put your phone down and walked away for 10 minutes? 30 minutes? A couple of hours?

Would you be afraid of missing text messages, emails, or social media posts?

Or would you discover a new way to communicate? Yes, children, there is a communication method that doesn’t involve an electronic device. It’s called … wait for it … conversation!

Try an experiment. See how long you can NOT touch or look at or even think about your cell phone. At first it may be a bit stressful, but after a while you may actually find that you are less stressed.

Hyperconnectivity can actually increase your stress level. Ever hear of a condition called FOMO? It’s the fear of missing out. The more you are on social media, for example, the more you worry about missing a post or a tweet or a chat. Believe it or not, sometimes those things can go on without you!

So put it down. Look up. Look into the eyes of the people in the room with you. Oh wait. First, you have to ask them to put down their cell phones!

Have a conversation. Watch body language, listen to intonation, and enjoy the human interaction.

You can do it!

Let me know how it goes.

You there, with the cell phone in your hand, you know who you are. You’re probably even reading this on that electronic device. Just so you know, July is Cell Phone Courtesy Month. Finish reading this, of course, but then show some courtesy and put it down!

Go find a real human and have a real conversation. You probably won’t have to look far. There might even be other humans right there in the room with you. Yeah, they have their heads buried in their cell phones too!

For the “older” people, GenXers and Boomers, this is not just a case of “kids today.” There was a time when we marveled at the young people sitting right next to each other, texting each other instead of engaging in actual human conversation, but the trend has definitely expanded to all generations.

Look around the conference room, the board room, even the meeting of two people across a desk, and you will find cell phones galore. Is anyone really paying attention to that presentation on the big screen? Probably not. They’re kind of busy with their own small screens.

So, back to Cell Phone Courtesy Month. The most courteous thing to do when in the presence of other human beings is to ditch the electronic device, at least while real people would like your actual attention. This, of course, is not Give Up Your Cell Phone Addiction Month. We’d just like a little courtesy.

If you don’t think it’s such a big deal, try looking around the next time you are in a restaurant, in a business meeting, or even walking in a park. What do you see? The tops of people’s heads, right? Their faces are buried in their virtual world and they are totally ignoring the real humans in their immediate space.

You might be pleasantly surprised when you try having a real conversation with a real human. There are no emojis involved, but you do get the pleasure of looking into a pair of real eyes and watching real body language as you talk. That’s a pretty cool new invention, don’t you think?

Put down the electronic device. Look up. Show some courtesy. Try it for a month. You might find you like it enough to form a new habit – human communications.

Does your team need help learning how to communicate with humans again? Email me at pat@words-working.net.